SAT 27 JUL 2002

Our Pledge

This poster, along with many other timely messages, can be found in this extensive collection. Bravo!

T.I.P.S. - Toward Instituting a Police State
If you liked the Gestapo, you'll love T.I.P.S., one of Reichsführer Ashcroft's latest contributions to the War on Terra. If enacted, the pogram -- er, program -- would enlist one in 24 Americans as citizen spies, a higher percentage of informants than the former communist nation of East Germany employed in its Stasi secret police force. Most free societies would never tolerate the idea of setting citizens to spy on one another, and indeed, public reaction to the T.I.P.S. program has been almost entirely negative. Civil liberties advocates don't like it. Conservative Republicans don't like it. Political independents don't like it. Nobody likes it. Ashcroft doesn't care. Is it any wonder that the people of his home state preferred to vote for a dead man?

Another choice selection from this excellent site.

Ashcroft Sez: Obey your government. Don't trust the liberal media. Never mind the environment. Turn in your neighbor. Attend the church of my choice. Shut up, or we'll shut you up. Have A Nice Day!

Outages and Connections
The "interconnection of all things" often becomes more apparent when some of those connections break down. I've just gotten my home ISP service back after being unable to log on for over a week, which is why this site wasn't updated last weekend. The provider had "upgraded" its servers, which had the unintended side effect of booting lots of people offline entirely. But this was a minor annoyance compared to the water pump dying.

The pump at the well was going on 15 years old, and at least it had the consideration to wait until after we'd showered Monday morning to stop working. Fortunately, we were able to replace it by that evening, but all during the day we kept realizing how much we take running water for granted, and what an enormous convenience it is. We kept walking over to the sink and absently turning the faucet, temporarily forgetting that it would supply no water. When we got the new pump in and running, it was like a small miracle. (The pump was a Jacuzzi brand, so now we can tell people we have an underground Jacuzzi. About 125 feet underground....)

At least the well hadn't run dry. We're in the middle of the worst drought in 50 or perhaps even 100 years, depending on who you ask, and the farm ponds in the area have turned to beds of cracked mud. Thursday we finally got our first substantial rain in weeks, but it still wasn't enough to do much good.

We've created a world where not only our "lifestyle" but our very survival depends on numerous technological connections and contingencies. Y2K may not have come in with a bang, as some predicted, but we may very well begin to see our technological web strain and snap over the course of this century as the population grows and resources shrink. I predict that within the next 50 years, clean fresh water will become as valuable a commodity as oil is today. Fuel and housing costs will skyrocket as well, simply due to supply and demand factors. Getting "off the grid" as much as possible, as some people did in preparation for the Y2K non-event, may yet prove to be a wise course as time goes on.

Unless, of course, we all get smashed by an asteroid in the meantime....

How Many Times Do We Have To Say It?
There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media." There is no "liberal media."

An Enterprising Young Man
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died." Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already." Kenny said, "OK then, just unload the donkey."

Startled, the farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him? He's dead!" Kenny replied, "I'm going to raffle him off."

"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" protested the farmer. Kenny said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

"I raffled him off," Kenny replied proudly. "I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898."

"Didn't anyone complain?" asked the farmer.

"Just the guy who won," said Kenny. "So I gave him his two dollars back."

Kenny grew up and eventually became the CEO of Enron.

Thought for the Week
"Of all the enemies to public liberty war is, perhaps, the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other. War is the parent of armies; from these proceed debts and taxes. And armies, and debts, and taxes are the known instruments for bringing the many under the domination of the few. In war, too, the discretionary power of the Executive is extended. Its influence in dealing out offices, honors, and emoluments is multiplied; and all the means of seducing the minds, are added to those of subduing the force of the people. The same malignant aspect in republicanism may be traced in the inequality of fortunes, and the opportunities of fraud, growing out of a state of war...and in the degeneracy of manners and morals, engendered by both. No nation could preserve its freedom in the midst of continual warfare."
-- James Madison, April 20, 1795

Everything You Know Is Wrong! An ancient skull unearthed by archeologists in Africa suggests that primitive humans may have begun to evolve even earlier than previously thought. Dated at six to seven million years old, the skull reportedly displays human-like facial features combined with an ape-like brain capacity. As such, the discovery sheds a great deal of light on the possible origin of modern conservatives (see chart at right).

Smirking While the Economy Burns
In addition to cracking tasteless jokes, poisoning the planet, and generally getting by on his laurels, our insider-trader-in-chief has now managed to line his pockets further even as the stock market plummets and thousands of small investors watch their portfolios crumble. But don't try to blame Republicans for the recession! As usual, the party of "personal responsibility" knows the correct strategy -- blame Clinton! Even if he's been out of office for almost two years, after presiding over the largest economic expansion in US history! The only good thing about all this is that we might end up with another one-term Bush after all.

Heated Rhetoric
Despite ample and mounting evidence that human activities are straining global resources, causing mass extinctions, and heating up the biosphere, right-wing anti-environmentalists continue to denounce global warming as an "alarmist hoax" perpetrated on an unsuspecting public. What gives? Well, when you've got two different sides espousing two different sets of "facts," somebody must be lying, probably to advance an agenda. How to decide who's lying and who's telling the truth? Use Occam's Razor: examine the motivations to determine which side has the more sensible, simple, and realistic motive.

On one side are the multinational petrochemical corporations who manufacture fossil fuels, and profit from their sales. Since fossil fuels have been targeted as the prime culprit in global warming, and proposed regulations would aim to severely curtail their use, the industry stands to lose money. Lots of money. So, in order to preserve their profits, oil companies find it to be in their best interest to debunk, or at least minimize, concerns about global warming. Simple enough. The profit motive has been a driving force throughout human history. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

But what could possibly motivate hundreds of independent international scientists to fabricate a global warming "hoax" out of whole cloth and foist it upon the rest of the world as fact? Well, even the polluters' lobby has a hard time explaining that one, preferring instead to simply demonize the opposition, spread propaganda, and concoct bizarre conspiracy theories. According to them, environmentalists are just a bunch of socialist meanies who want to plunge the economy into depression, lower standards of living for everyone including themselves, and generally inconvenience the entire world for no good reason bwahahaha. Oh, or maybe they're out for more grant money, presumably because they spent all their previous grant money concocting a massive global warming hoax so they could, uh, get more grant money....

This brings up the question of resources. How are these sinister environmentalists funding their massive "hoax", cleverly deceiving hundreds of respected scientists and leaders of dozens of countries worldwide? Charitable donations? Craft exhibits? Yard sales? On the other hand, petroleum is a multibillion-dollar international commodity. People go to war over it. Big Oil has plenty of big bucks to throw around for advocacy studies and anti-environmental campaigns to help ensure its economic survival.

So, in essence, we have the capitalistic profit motive of rich corporations vs. a loosely constructed paranoid conspiracy theory. Choose the one that seems more likely, and you'll know whose "facts" are more trustworthy. As far as I'm concerned, it's a no-brainer.

Sibling Imbibery
O'Malley moved from Ireland to New York City, and the first thing he did was find a bar. He went in, ordered three beers, then retired to a booth and drank a little from one, then the second, then the third. He continued this until all three beers were gone.

After that, he showed up every day, ordered three beers, and drank them the same way.

After a month of this the bartender finally said, "It's none of my business, but the way you order your beer, by the time you finish the last one it's got to be warm and flat."

O'Malley replied, "When I lived in Ireland, my two brothers and I went to the local pub after work every day, and each of us had a pint. We always vowed that should we ever separate, we'd still order three beers and drink them, even if we were alone."

"Oh," the bartender nodded. "Now I understand."

O'Malley continued to show up every day and order three beers until, one day, he came in and ordered just two. He took them back to a booth and proceeded to drink them.

The bartender watched him for a few minutes, then went around the bar and approached his booth. "May I give you my condolences?" he asked.

"For what?" O'Malley asked.

"Well, I see you ordered only two beers today, so I figure something happened to one of your brothers."

"Oh, no," O'Malley exclaimed. "I just married a Baptist and she made me give up drinking. But that in no way affects my brothers."

Thought for the Week
"The world is my home, it's just that some rooms are draftier than others."
-- Wolf (from Usenet)

On Vacation
Creative Dynamix has been celebrating its independence. We will return on Saturday, July 13th.

Thought for the Week
Here is a land full of power and glory
Beauty that words cannot recall
And her power shall rest on the strength of her freedom
And her glory shall rest on us all.
-- Phil Ochs