SUN 21 OCT 2001

Deer Season Opens

Censorship Continues
The Pentagon is taking control of high-resolution satellite photos of Afghanistan, essentially preventing their use by journalists without permission. In Santa Cruz, left-wing radio talk show host Peter Werbe has been kicked off the air, despite his show's growing popularity. As always, war kills truth first.

Redneck Ghost Story
A professor at NCSU is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" Fifteen students raise their hands.

"That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" Three students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

One student way in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. As he ambles slowly toward the podium, the professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."

The student replies, "Ghost?!? SHHIIIIIITTT... From way back there I thought you said 'goats'!"

Thought for the Day
"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."
-- Dalai Lama

Thought for the Day
"There is a very fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
-- Oscar Levant

The New Economy

 

How to Distinguish Terrorists from the U.S. Government
Confused? Having difficulty telling the good guys from the bad guys? Use this handy guide to differences between terrorists and the U.S. government:

TERRORISTS: Supposed leader is the spoiled son of a powerful politician, from extremely wealthy oil family.
US GOVERNMENT: Supposed leader is the spoiled son of a powerful politician, from extremely wealthy oil family.

TERRORISTS: Leader has declared a holy war (Jihad) against his "enemies"; believes any nation not with him is against him; believes God is on his side, and that any means are justified.
US GOVERNMENT: Leader has declared a holy war (Crusade) against his "enemies"; believes any nation not with him is against him; believes God is on his side, and that any means are justified.

TERRORISTS: Supported by extreme fundamentalist religious leaders who preach hatred, intolerance, subjugation of women, and persecution of non-believers.
US GOVERNMENT: Supported by extreme fundamentalist religious leaders who preach hatred, intolerance, subjugation of women, and persecution of non-believers.

TERRORISTS: Leadership was not elected by a majority of the people in a free and fair democratic election.
US GOVERNMENT: Leadership was not elected by a majority of the people in a free and fair democratic election.

TERRORISTS: Kills thousands of innocent civilians, some of them children, in cold-blooded bombings.
US GOVERNMENT: Kills (tens of) thousands of innocent civilians, some of them children, in cold-blooded bombings.

TERRORISTS: Operates through clandestine organization (al Qaeda) with agents in many countries; uses bombing, assassination, other terrorist tactics.
US GOVERNMENT: Operates through clandestine organization (CIA) with agents in many countries; uses bombing, assassination, other terrorist tactics.

TERRORISTS: Using war as pretext to clamp down on dissent and undermine civil liberties.
US GOVERNMENT: Using war as pretext to clamp down on dissent and undermine civil liberties.

TERRORISTS: Weapon of choice: a three-dollar box cutter.
US GOVERNMENT: Weapon of choice: a billion-dollar B1 bomber.

Hope this helps! (Thanks to Phil!)

Hangman
One page on my site has been getting a lot more hits lately -- the poem Hangman by Maurice Ogden. It was one of the first things I posted, and I re-read it the other day and got chills. It's worth another look in light of recent circumstances, if you haven't perused it lately.

Thought for the Day
"It is understanding that gives us an ability to have peace. When we understand the other fellow's viewpoint, and he understands ours, then we can sit down and work out our differences."
-- Harry S Truman

Thought for the Day
"We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology."
-- Carl Sagan

When Pigs Fly...

Buzz
As the woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?"

The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."

A couple of days later, the wife came home from shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the family room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

The wife asked, "What the hell are you doing?"

The husband replied, "I'm watching the ball game with my son-in-law."

Bert Is Evil Is Dead In response to complaints from Muppet producers in light of the publicity from the inadvertant use of the Sesame Street character Bert in Bangladesh protests supporting bin Laden (see previous entry and photo at right), most of the "Bert is Evil" websites have been taken down. Another death at the hands of terrorists. Will the insanity never end?

Thought for the Day
"A free press can, of course, be good or bad, but, most certainly without freedom, the press will never be anything but bad."
-- Albert Camus

Vermont Quarter It took me awhile to find one of these in circulation, but now that I have, they seem to be everywhere. One of the best designs so far, I think. Pros: Great design, great motto. Avoids boring "state outline" theme of some previous states. Cool trees. Cons: None that spring to mind.

Update
Added Taking Liberties to Explositions.

Thought for the Day
"The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing changes and yet everything is completely different."
-- Aldous Huxley, The Devils of Loudun