SUN 09 SEP 2001

Big Rocket I've finished construction on the tallest rocket I've made so far -- the Estes Mean Machine, which I painted metallic gold instead of black and renamed the Gold Eagle. It's over six feet tall, and flies on "D" powered engines. I still need to find a bigger launch field before I can actually fly it, though. In the meantime, it's sitting in my office looking like a trophy. In a way, it is.

A Dream
I dreamed I was in a city, looking for a library. I'd found several libraries, but none of them were the right one. The one I was looking for was a huge white marble building with a large dome on top.

The people on the street looked vaguely amphibian. There were two well-dressed women walking ahead of me, and I asked them where the library was. They didn't seem to understand what I was saying. One turned to the other and said something that sounded like, "Jew so frontey eh?" They both laughed.

I somehow ended up in a small yellow car driving out of town. I saw the dome of the library rising above the trees, and I stopped the car and got out. The library was behind some trees on the other side of a field. I had to cross the field to get to it, but the field was full of headless scarecrows. Even though I knew the scarecrows weren't alive, the sight was alarming enough to make me wake up.

Thought for the Day
"If God lived on earth, people would break his windows."
-- Jewish proverb

Thought for the Day
"A bird in the hand often leaves a sticky deposit. Perhaps it was better you left it in the bush with the other one."
-- Modern Proverb

And Now a Word from the NRA...

(Note - Creative Dynamix supports the right to keep and bear arms. Our rationale: why should right-wing loonies be the only people with guns?)

Websites of the Gods
It seems that these days everyone's got their own homepage -- even major dieties. God has a homepage. Jesus has a homepage. Even Satan has a homepage. Buddha has a homepage, but it's hard to read. Confucius has a homepage, too, although it's not official. And so many people named Mohammed have homepages it's hard to tell which one is the real Mohammed.

The Gold Urinal
Last fall, George W. Bush was invited to a get-acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.

He was astonished to see that the President had a solid gold urinal. That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said, "when I'm President, I'll get to have a gold urinal!"

Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that, in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.

That evening, Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed. Hillary turned to Bill and said, "Well, I found out who pissed in your saxophone."

Thought for the Day
"The chief cause of human error is to be found in prejudices picked up in childhood."
-- René Descartes

Freckle: 1997 - 2001

We lost our cat Freckle over Labor Day. It was an occasion for thought as well as sadness. You can read more about it in this update to the Explositions area.

Thought for the Day
"Death is the mother of beauty."
-- Wallace Stevens

Thought for the Day
"Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority."
-- Thomas Henry Huxley

George the Promise-Breaker

Original cartoon by RAP

The Nun's Confession
The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret. The priest then tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.

She says, "Father, I never wear panties under my habit."

The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious, Sister Bernadette. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar."

Party Naked
Some things are fun to do naked. Others aren't so fun. Which are which? Find out here.

Thought for the Day
"As war and government prove, insanity is the most contagious of diseases."
-- Edward Abbey

Answer the Question, Dummy!
Here's an actual question from a recent CNN opinion poll, followed by the response percentages:

QUESTION: How concerned do you think Gary Condit is about Chandra Levy and her family -- very concerned, somewhat concerned, not too concerned, or not concerned at all?

Yes 43%
No 52

More proof that nobody's really listening....

(Thanks to the Stick for finding this gem!)

Thought for the Day
"When politics and religion are intermingled, a people is suffused with a sense of invulnerability, and gathering speed in their forward charge, they fail to see the cliff ahead of them."
-- Frank Herbert, Dune

Who Named This Place?

Geese at War
As the summer winds down, I've been seeing more and more Canadian geese. I don't recall ever seeing this many, especially at this time of year, but they're all over the place. Maybe they're lost. Anyway, on the way to work, we passed a pond that's usually inhabited by local white geese. This time, the white geese were lined up on one side of the pond, and the Canadian geese were lined up on the other. They looked like rival sports teams, or possibly opposing armies. It would have made a great photo, but we didn't have our camera with us.

Praise the Wombat
If you're seeking pseudoreligious enlightenment (or even just philosophical effluvia), look no further than the Liber Nonsequitoria. Subtitled The Book of the Coming Forth from the Sacred Pouch, this document offers ontological relevation and guidance from a distinctly Discordian perspective. A sample:

17    "Giveth to the forces of order and orderliness the sevenfold torment of the Wombat: confuse them with the holy Confusion, torment them with the sacred Gibbering of the Wombat, feed them the Dead Stoat of Laughter, force them to wear the Awesome Coat of Many Plaids, give them children with Biff, the sacred Wonder Dildo.

18    "Reveal unto them the Cosmic Joke: even this Torment shall be known unto them with the Pancreatic hunger of the Wombat. Lo: they shalt suffer at thy hands, else the Wombat shall visit unbearable torments upon thee;

19-21    [deleted so as not to disturb the faint of heart, but including references to the Purple Horror's miscegenation with the Martyred One, the dreaded Telemarketers of the Damned, and the Jehovah's Witnesses.]

22    "Do as I doth instruct thee, oh thou Followers of the Naked Word, or suffer thee these torments and more that I feel would disturb the faint of heart."

23    The voice then did mumble frantically and urgently unto the faithful who did hear it, and did threaten them with Staplers, menace them with Cookie cutters, and did generally maketh an ass of itself.

More fun than the KJV 1611 -- and it makes just about as much sense!

Thought for the Day
"Each opinion, each view is necessarily partial, truncated, inadequate. In philosophy and in anything, originality comes down to incomplete definitions."
-- E. M. Cioran