SAT 17 FEB 2001

More Evidence of Our Culture's Moral Decay

Seriously, who headed the focus group on this one? Foreigners, no doubt....

I'm Going to Hell!
Yes, none other than Sister Taffy of Landover Baptist Church has placed this site on her Satanic Links page, effectively condemning me -- and, by extension, you as a reader -- to hellfire and damnation for all eternity. Praise Jesus! I've returned the favor by placing a link to her site on the sidebar.

Technological Breakthrough Reported

The Maryland State Board of Education at its last meeting unveiled its newest technology for implementing the Core Learning Goals. It is called the Bio-Optic Organizer of Knowledge, trade named BOOK.

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology for use in high school mathematics classes. A BOOK contains no wires, batteries, or electronic circuits. It requires no power supply or video interface. It does not need to be connected to any other device, nor does it have any switches. It is so easy to use that most pre-kindergartners can operate a BOOK with ease.

A BOOK has two inherent states -- closed and open. It is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper called pages. Each page is capable of holding thousands of bits of data. The pages may even contain visual elements including diagrams and pictures. The pages are locked together with a custom fit device known as a binder. The binder keeps the pages in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology allows manufacturers to use both sides of the page for information, which doubles the information density of single-paged BOOKs. Each page is scanned optically by the user which can register information directly into the user's brain. A mere flick of a finger can take the user to the next page of information.

Unlike a computer screen, a page of a BOOK can be written upon and/or highlighted. A BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting. A browse feature allows the user to move instantly to any page, moving backwards or forwards as the need arises. Many BOOKs come with an indexing feature, which allows a user to pinpoint the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval. An optional BOOKmark accessory allows a user to open a BOOK to the exact place where a previous session ended, even if the BOOK has been put in the closed position. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards, and a single bookmark can be used in BOOKs from many different manufacturers.

A BOOK is portable, durable, and affordable. It is being hailed by MSDE as a precursor to an entirely new mode of learning. Many companies (called publishers) have expressed interest in committing to this new platform for disseminating information. MSDE expects a flood of new titles to appear soon, and schools should plan to invest in this new medium for learning.

Courtesy of Craig Lafferty in Baltimore County; submitted by SuperWavyDavy. Thanks!

News of the Whirled Calculating chimps, Biblical psychoanalysis, and Islamic morality police. Is it really a surprise that human DNA is less complex than we once thought?

Thought for the Day
"Everybody is somebody else's weirdo."
-- bumper sticker on some weirdo's car

Thought for the Day
"You know you're getting older when you fantasize about a bed, and it's empty."
-- co-worker Tom Jenkins on the joy of sleep

Baby's First Hot Sauce

I think I must have eaten this as a child. That would explain lots....

Warming Up
Except for a couple of raw rainy days like Monday, it's warming up here. It's still rainy, but the chill has gone. Today it's close to 70 degrees F (20 degrees C), and tiny buds are beginning to emerge in the woods. I think our local groundhog must have been right.

NewZ 4 GeeX
Microsoft has released a new operating system. You may not have heard of this one, even if you think you have.
(Thanks, Tuck!)

Rant and Rave
With raving an increasingly popular passtime among our nation's young people, it was inevitable that an anti-rave web site would eventually surface. Here you can find drug cocktail recipes, products, pictures, and of course hate mail. Peace out, dude!

Thought for the Day
"Earth is a great big funhouse without the fun."
-- Jeff Berner

Happy Valentines Day from Creative Dynamix

"Baby, my heart's on fire...."

My Chronic Valentine
As you may already know, the holiday we now call "Valentines Day" originated in the ancient Roman Feast of Lupercalia, during which young lovers stared sappily into each other's eyes and single people sat around feeling bitter and left out. This tradition continues today, the latter sentiment being well expressed by this site. If you're still beseiged by unwanted warm fuzzies, you can also read through a few heartwarming anecdotes.

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It happened that the equipment arrived when his wife was away, so he decided to test it on himself first. He inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on, and "voila" -- everything else was automatic! He had a really good time as the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. But when the fun was over, he found that he could not take the instrument off. He read the manual, but did not find any useful information.

He tried every button on the instrument. Some made the equipment squeeze, shake, or suck harder or less, but none would remove it. Panicking, he called the supplier's Customer Service Hotline. The farmer: "Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It worked fantastic. But how can I take it off from the cow's udder?" Customer Service: "Don't worry. The machine was programmed such that it will release automatically after collecting about 2 liters of milk."

We Apologize for the Inconvenience
Yesterday's updates were eaten by rats.

Thought for the Day
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."
-- Matt Groening

Thought for the Day
"When you don't know where a road leads, it sure as hell will take you there."
-- Leo Rosten

T-Shirt of the Month

Thanks to Sandy for calling this to our attention.

Writing Contest Results
The final results of the writing contest have come back from the judges. Check 'em out! Personally, I'm still in a state of shock....

Thought for the Day
"The degree of one's emotion varies inversely with one's knowledge of the facts: the less you know, the hotter you get."
-- Bertrand Russell