SUN 04 FEB 2001

Thought for the Day
"Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst; every other species of tyranny is limited to the world we live in; but this attempts to stride beyond the grave, and seeks to pursue us into eternity."
-- Thomas Paine

Girls of the Vatican: Swimsuit Issue

News of the Nation

WASHINGTON--In another embarrassing run-in with an open microphone, President Bush made remarkably candid remarks that were unwittingly broadcast to the White House press this week.

Speaking to leaders of Roman Catholic charities, Bush expressed frustration that the "Christ killers" wield so much power in Washington and the media. Bush said the issue "is not so much to get rid of the negroes, as long as they learn their place, but to purge the 'Zionist schemers' from positions of authority and power."

It's a fight he intends to win, Bush said, by avoiding the term "Jewboy Comyanists," instead advocating "a return to Christian values."

It's not unlike the abortion issue, President Bush suggested to the Catholics, which is better argued as a "pro-life" position.

"It's like the abortion issue," Bush said. "There is a built-in prejudice against a particular position on both sides of both issues. And the language of the issues, you know, is never 'for' life. It's always 'anti,' you know. Somebody's right. And same in education. And those of us who agree on these issues must figure out better ways to position it from a PR perspective."

Bush was apparently unaware the microphone was on when he made the comments. The microphone had been set up for comments to be made to reporters during a photo session with the Catholic leaders, but was turned on early before reporters were allowed into the meeting and broadcast to the press room.

Addressing an archbishop from Miami, Bush joked that he was planning to name his brother, Gov. Jeb Bush of Florida, "the ambassador to Planet Dumbshit."

It's not Bush's first mishap with a microphone. During the campaign, he and vice-presidential candidate Dick Cheney made the comment about a New York Times reporter that he was a "dirty, filthy, scum-sucking commie Kike," that were mistakenly broadcast over the PA system at a campaign rally.

(Thanks once again to the Reverand Dead Corpse.)

Groundhog Day
In Pennsylvania, Punxsutawney Phil has seen his shadow, which according to long-standing tradition means that Punxsutawney can look forward to six more weeks of winter. Meanwhile, here in North Carolina, it's overcast and dripping rain, making it unlikely that any woodland creature will see its shadow, groundhog or not. So maybe we'll have an early spring in this part of the country at least.
Most people don't realize that this odd little holiday has its roots in ancient traditions. It's a seasonal "cross quarter", halfway between the winter solstice and the vernal equinox, celebrated by Catholics as Candlemas and by pre-Christian pagans as Imbolc. Traditional ceremonies generally involve elements of fire and light.

Thought for the Day
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
-- Hunter S. Thompson

Must Be Near Campus...

I Have a Question
If the Shrubya is so gung-ho on the idea of "smaller government", why is he so eager to increase the military budget?

News Bytes
From around the world, across the nation and up your street:
Zapatista rebel engages in guerilla humor; Canada gives Bush a new title; and in Arkansas, a schoolboy has been suspended for wielding chicken in a threatening manner. Also, if you happen to be burglarizing a house in England, and you find a chocolate penis, don't taste it.

Thought for the Day
"The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern."
-- Lord Acton

Macintosh: Resistance Is Futile

Weird Wild Web
Contrary to popular belief, there's more on the web than just celebrity navel fetish sites and bizarre conspiracy theories from the tinfoil hat brigade. You can also find strange fiction, dubious religious groups, and antiquated medical advice. Who says it's all a waste of time?

Prove it!
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have no idea what some people will do to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really are Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.

Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"

Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."

Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.

Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"

George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"

Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."

(Thanks to mjs....)

[Note: Some people have complained that this joke is offensive. We apologize for portraying George W. Bush as even being considered for admission to Heaven in the first place.]

Thought for the Day
"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends."
-- Gandalf, in J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Trilogy

The Gothest House in Town, Revisited

This photo has been modified.

Updated the photo album with more (and higher-quality) pictures of a local gothic house. Also added a photo of my thinking rock in the woods (where I sometimes go to write, and where I was once visited by a cloud of fireflies), as well as the psuedoceremonial fire circle.

End of the Season
Yesterday I was surprised by the presence of another person in the woods. Usually I don't see anyone out there, but I heard footsteps and shouted "hello", and was startled to hear someone else shout "hello" back. It was a neighbor, coming back from taking down his portable deer stand. Deer season is over now. The bark on some of the cedars is peeled where the bucks have been scraping their antlers, and the distant gunfire has pretty much stopped.
Thirty miles away, in the poorer parts of Durham, the gunfire continues unabated. People, unfortunately, are never out of season.

FTP Problems
This page was supposed to be updated yesterday, but I haven't been able to access the FTP server at my web host. The error message says the server is down. Hoping it will be fixed soon, so you can read this....

Thought for the Day
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-- Benjamin Franklin, out late one night at some bar