SUN 31 DEC 2000

Thought for the Day
"Say goodbye to the whole damn 20th century, when a man could drive 140 right over the edge ... with your top down and your shades up, sucking gas and sugar out of a little icy green bottle and burning a nail strong enough to blow you down over the border."
-- Joe Camel, as portrayed by Phil Austin

Thought for the Day
"There is a sharp disagreement among competent men as to what can be proved and what cannot be proved, as well as an irreconcilable divergence of opinion as to what is sense and what is nonsense."
-- Eric Temple Bell, Debunking Science

Protect Our Wildlife

Headlines
The world's first baby-cicles are born in Singapore, missing Jesuses return to a manger in Belgium, and Indiana firemen accidentally get stoned.

Guard Your Uterus
In an obvious capitulation to the so-called "religious right", Prez-elect Shrubya has chosen Wisconsin governor Tommy Thompson for secretary of health and human services. Here's a little info on Tommy:

The Institute for First Amendment Studies has identified Governor Tommy Thompson as a member of the Council for National Policy, a networking group for the Radical Right (www.ifas.org). Formed in 1981 by two members of the John Birch Society, the Council enables leadership of the Radical Right to become acquainted with one another, speak freely, and plan short and long-term strategies. The Council is little-known by the public and meetings are highly secretive. The press is not allowed, no public announcements of meetings are ever made, and plainclothes security guards carefully watch who comes and goes at hotels where the meetings are held (Freedom Writer 6/95).

Other members of the Council include Gary Bauer of the Family Research Council, James Dobson of Focus on the Family, Oliver North, Howard Phillips of the U.S. Taxpayers Party, Pat Robertson of the Christian Coalition, and Phyllis Schlafly of the Eagle Forum (Freedom Writer 1/96). According to political analyst Chip Berlet, the ideal CNP member is "an ultra-conservative Christian Evangelical who is comfortable with racism, sexism, homophobia, paranoid anti-communism, and who has a distaste for liberalism and mass democracy (Shepherd Express 5/26/94)."

This information, and more, can be found here. The site also provides facts about our soon-to-be Attorney General, John Ashcroft, who "has close ties with Religious Right leaders, and has received 100% ratings from the Christian Coalition and Phyllis Schlafly's Eagle Forum."

Thought for the Day
"If art is to nourish the roots of our culture, society must set the artist free to follow his vision wherever it takes him."
-- John F. Kennedy

Dubious Billboards

This and other odd billboards can be found at dribbleglass.com. 

Have Yourself a Tacky Little Christmas
One of the things I really love about living in the country near a small town is the annual appearance of tacky Christmas decor. Some people put up so many flashing lights and glowing reindeer and neon Santas around their modest little dwellings that their power bill for December is probably higher than their monthly rent. The best one I saw this year was a small house absolutely covered with blinking colored lights. Just covered with them. The lawn was covered, too, lights strung over and around every bush and tree. But the very best part was the nativity scene. They had life-size plastic figures in the yard, all lit up inside, of Mary, Joseph, the baby Jesus, shepherds, angels, wise men... along with a big plastic Santa Claus and Frosty the Snowman, who had apparently also come to witness the great miracle. The juxtaposition of religious and secular imagery was quite striking and more than a little amusing, and I was glad it was prominently on display for all passing motorists to see.

Evil Wicked Kitty
Let me say at the outset that I'm a cat lover. We have a couple of cats, Freckle and Mojo, who in our opinion are the best kitties ever to walk the earth. That's why I didn't take too kindly to the raggedy-looking stray cat that started coming around last week looking for trouble.
The stray looked a lot like Mojo -- black and slender -- but he was bigger and not quite solid black. He also seemed permanently pissed off, his tail constantly bushed, a growl always in his throat. He'd walk up to our house like he owned the place and start fighting with our cats. This really upset Freckle, who's normally very sweet-natured -- she'd puff herself up and start making an ominously modulating deep-throated growl herself.
When I tried to shoo the stray cat off, he didn't run -- he growled at me! So I started growling back at him, and hissing, like I was a giant cat. This sort of freaked him out, and together Freckle and I growled him out of the yard. But he never seemed frightened, and he never ran -- he just kind of skulked slowly into the woods, casting a glance over his shoulder as if to say, "I'll be back."
Sure enough, the next morning I awoke to howling and hissing sounds from outside. The stray was in the carport, fighting with Freckle under the car. I stuck a broom under the car to get them out, which worked, but the stray didn't run off, even when I waved the broom at him. He growled at me again. I'd never seen a cat act so aggressive and hostile, and I started to get concerned that he might be rabid, or at least insane. In any case, he had no business fighting with our cats on their own turf.
I went in the house and loaded my .22 rifle.
When I came back out, the cats were fighting under the car again. Once again, I got them out with a broom. The stray ran into the back yard and just sat there, like he was waiting for me to go away. I cocked the rifle and walked toward him. He didn't move.
I didn't really want to shoot him right there in the yard, but that's how it seemed to be working out. I was a little worried that if I didn't hit him clean, he'd be screaming and thrashing and spurting blood all over the place, and I'd have to shoot him again, and I didn't want that to happen. That was why I'd loaded the gun with round-tip bullets instead of hollow points.
I steadied the barrel and realized that I didn't really want to shoot the poor cat at all, but I did want to get rid of him for good, especially if he had some kind of disease. He just sat there blinking smugly at me, with a "Whatcha gonna do about it?" look on his face.
He was only a few yards away, right in front of me, so I fired without taking time to aim well. I must have either hit right in front of him or grazed him somehow, because he jumped about three feet in the air, screaming like a banshee, and took off quicker than a jackrabbit across the yard and across the neighbor's yard and under the neighbor's shed. I didn't see any blood, but I haven't seen the stray since then either. So it all worked out okay -- I didn't kill him, but he does seem to be gone now. And our cats are much much happier.

Thought for the Day
"Where there's smoke, there's work!"
-- The Firesign Theatre

Happy Holidays from Creative Dynamix

Christmas '59

Eclipse
A few minutes ago (around noon) there a was partial eclipse of the sun. We tried viewing it by punching a small hole in a sheet of cardboard and projecting the light onto another sheet of cardboard, but we didn't really see anything spectacular, just a fuzzy-edged circle with maybe a vague "bite" in the side. Dissatisfied, I dangerously tried looking at the sun though polarized sunglasses, but all I saw was a really bright light. Ah well. Merry Christmas anyway.

Thought for the Day
"Hallelujah! Noël! Be it Heaven or Hell,
The Christmas we get we deserve."
-- Greg Lake